A Guide to Securing a Separation Agreement: Gathering Necessary Documents When Owning a Home in Alberta

Going through a separation is tough-especially when there is abuse. I get that gathering all those documents can feel overwhelming but trust me, having everything in order makes a huge difference- especially before you offically separate. I spent so much time in court trying to obtain these documents that my ex was deliberately hiding when I should of make records myself before leaving. But you need a separation agreement to be able to buy your own place or refinance the home without your partner. So, let's break it down like we're chatting over coffee.

1. Personal Stuff:
   • You know, names, addresses, and contact info for both of you.
   • Don't forget those Social Insurance Numbers (SIN). It's like the paperwork version of "it's complicated."
2. Marriage Certificate:
   • Grab a copy of that marriage certificate—it's like the receipt for the beginning of this journey.
3. Money Matters:
   • Show Me the Money:
     • Recent pay stubs or proof of income for both (usually 6 of them).
     • Dig up those tax returns from the past 3 years and inventory lists of company assets that you are entitled to.
   • Where's the Money At:
     • Bank statements - all of them for the past 12 months.
     • Investment papers - stocks, bonds, the whole shebang.
     • Anything about retirement savings (like RRSPs or pension plans).
     • Home-related stuff—title to the property, mortgage statements, and maybe even valuations if you've got big assets. Collect as much as you can before anything can be hidden.
4. Budget Breakdown:
   • Let's make a budget ninja-style. List out your monthly living costs—rent, utilities, groceries, the works.
5. Kids in the Mix (if you have them):
   • Birth certificates for the little ones.
   • School papers and details/invoices on their after-school activities or child-care.
   • Anything special about the kiddos goes here- think sports or anything extra that you need to pay for.
6. Supporting Each Other (or Not):
   • Work details for both of you.
   • If there's any alimony or support stuff, jot it down- rememeber to speak to a lawyer and find out what you are entitled to. Once you know that you can negotiate what you will and will not accept as spousal support (if applicable) and luckily Child Support is mandated by the Province of Alberta- no if's and's or buts. 
7. Insurance Intel:
   • Life insurance plans with who gets what.
   • Health insurance for both and the kids.
8. Life After Work:
   • If you've got any retirement plans, savings accounts or pension jazz, bring it to the table.
9. Who Gets the Stuff:
   • Make a list of what you own together—homes, cars, all the things.
   • If you've got a plan for dividing stuff, jot it down.
10. Legal Gigs:
    • Any court orders or legal things in play right now? Bring them along.
11. After You Go:
    • Wills and anything about what happens afterward—it's important and these will most likely need to be updated.
12. Who Takes the Kids (if you have them):
    • Custody plans and who gets to make decisions for the kiddos.
13. Proof of Space:
    • Show that you've been living separate lives—leases, utility bills, or anything proving you don't live together (there are also instances where you can live in the same house- but you'll need to verify with your lawyer on how that works). 
14. Lawyers:
    • Keep any notes or messages from lawyers handy.
    • Make a record of any advice you've gotten during this process.
15. Money Talk:
    • Fill out those financial disclosure forms. It's like laying all your cards on the table.
16. Remember the Talks:
    • Anything you've discussed about the separation—write it down. It'll help when you're making the final agreement.

I know this feels like a lot, but having it all organized will make things smoother. You don't want to be like me and be battling in court just to get the financial documents from your spouse and hold up things like Child Support and Spousal Support if you don't need to (for some it's over 3 years before they receive any financial compensation). You need to make sure you take care of yourself because as much as you think your spouse would never "do anything to hurt you", you'd be surprised how quickly things change and this person who was your best friend is now unrecognizable.  If you ever need a chat or a coffee buddy through all of this, I'm right here.